when bus rides are extra lonely
when sleeping feels better, and waking up is a drag
when you feel bored all the time
Today, I set up one meet up in UST, suppliers day, and lunch date with my friend Me-an. We ate at Kenny Rogers with her officemate/partner Arianne, and when we were left alone, she asked me what my text was all about.
Me-an: "Ano yun, feeling mo ang tanda tanda ko naaa, hindi ko pa alam gagawin kooo, hindi ko pa naaaccomplish goals kooo..."
Me: "Hindi naman!"
Truth be told, I don't know what I am going through today. Or maybe I do, and I don't want to talk about it. And these days when what I love doing most felt like a drag, and staring into space can make me look like those emo-kids, and taxis you ride to plays Bridge Over Troubled Waters in their stereo...I turn to my friends coz they've been good shock-absorbers.
So I sulked.
So I texted dramatic and cheese-lines to them.
So I answered Me-an with my long face.
Till late afternoon dawned, and we rode a taxi to Greenbelt after my meet-ups and Me-an's work (lunch date extended to dinner date! :D)....
I mentioned something about being an anti-social right now, and Me-an said: "WHAT'S YOUR PROBLEM???"
Then, that was it! Whatever I am worrying becomes some minuscule-whatever in this gigantic world of bigger chaos and resentments and unfairness.
The "birthday blues" week-too-soon came, I hope that that's the end of it, and it wouldn't come barging on the birthday date itself. ;) Been used to "Birthday's Eve" celebration with friends or family just to get psyched and hype things up. Oh I'm such a baby. ;p
I guess I'm just bored, and felt loneliness again being "self-employed" (no officemates for me! =p), and still have the big holiday hangover. ;p
What I do when "bored" and "topak" :
Buy something entertaining like a magazine. I bought Candy na (yup, in my 20s and still a Candy Girl :)), so I chose Cosmo.
(I love the cover color--silver-blue! And the fashion pages =))
Have a manicure. Had my nails painted silver--because I want something cheery (for my mood), but yellow is still faraway-summer. ;p Silver sparkles! =)
Spend time with a friend and eat in Kitchen (we're mainstays!)
-----no better pick-upper than this! :-)
Thanks Tamems! :) :) :)
And so I go back to His house and see
Him again (still) with outstreched arms
And feel Love
And feel Love (hug)
And feel Love
And know that that's enough.
- UST chapel, 1/12/2010, after meet-ups