Anagon: Good night Keeks, see you later!

I wrote this on the day my dog of almost 15 years (14 year and 9 months to be exact) passed away. I was filled with emotions, so there is no organization when I wrote this. I just needed to write everything so my "1TB brain" will never forget. I am re-reading and posting this now so I can somehow immortalize my emotions. Death is such a cruel part of life, but it is also the biggest proof of how one can love and be loved so much. Thank you so much Keeks! You are the best dog I ever had.

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You heard that, right? Keeks?

A few hours before our 15-year-old dog passed away, I was telling him he's a "good boy", patting his paw, petting his head, and caressing his body as I usually did. I also told him that I loved him, and that he is a healthy dog, hoping the "law of attraction" would still work despite the stage three kidney cancer his vet diagnosed two months ago.

I believed Keeks would live longer, and that he wanted to be with us longer too. He extended his life by about two more months. I am grateful for this extra time we had to play, and I could travel comfortably without worrying about Keeks because he genuinely got better during those two full months. Unfortunately, earlier on the day he passed, he was in so much pain. I sat beside him, hoping he could hold on until his vet opened. I didn't sleep, so we could be together, as he was also very much wide awake.

At 4 am, my sister began calling other vet clinics because Keeks was already breathing heavily, and his eyes reflected immense pain. Unfortunately, we couldn't reach any 24-hour clinic because December 8 is a holiday in my country. My mom took my place so I could sleep around 6 am. I was thinking I needed to rest because it would be me who would bring Keeks to his doctor, as usual. (Side Note: My dad and I brought him every other day the whole month of September for his vet visits so Keeks could have his EPO injections. We survived that; it was worth it.) At 7 am, I heard my sister wailing, and I found out he had already passed away.

I didn't cry right away; I felt ice-cold water being poured over my head. I couldn't breathe, felt so cold, and was in denial. I can't remember what I was saying; I think I was going hysterical.

Keeks, I did my best, right? You heard that I love you, right?

I am so sorry you had so much pain in your last hours. :(

Thank you for all the love and friendship through the years.

I will never forget all our walks, especially during the height of the pandemic. You were my 5pm habit, my break from work stress and social media. You are my simple happiness, my daily dose of love. I will never forget how you learned to unlock our gate for our "walk walk". I am so proud of you because "Ang talino mo talagang aso".

I will never forget how you ran, your goal whenever I opened the gate for your "walk walk" was to get ahead of me! But you would smile, and come back to me anyway with your satisfied face. I will never forget how you hated taking pictures or being interrupted from you "walk walk" whenever I put my phone up for my video and photo requests. I was super kulit, but sometimes you would allow me to cuddle you; you would go to my arms so I could cuddle you and maybe sneak a selfie.

Keeks LOVED his walks! He grew so fat during the pandemic because we only had each other, so I fed him so much haha. So, I also started his 5pm walk habit so he could lose weight!

Screenshots of Keeks running fast during his walks para maunahan nya ako, hehe. He was at his happiest during his walks:

You loved me so much, Keeks. You would even lick my arms to tell me so. I felt your love, Keeks, and will forever be grateful to have a loving dog like you in this lifetime.

I will never forget our friendship, Keeks. You are my simple happiness. My constant love. The first that I miss when I am on a trip.

Your wagging brush-like tail, happy to see us, your family, after our busy days at work or home errands. Cea will say,"Ang ganda ganda mo, Keeks," and I will follow through with "What an elegant dog!" because you have always been one your whole life. You have the beadiest black eyes that looked at me with so much love. Or sometimes with so much curiosity every time I go out with my phone again. You have that "Ano nanaman ginagawa nito" face, hehe.

Keeks' puzzled face whenever I open my selfie camera:

I will never forget your tongue-out smille, or even the way you'll brush your teeth on my arm during playtime to "scare" me, haha. I will never forget your little twirl, the one you always make for us every time I or mom will bring you your food. Even when you can't twirl anymore, you still go around slowly in your place to show your excitement. You were so grateful, always giving a lick on my arm before diving into your food. I will never forget how I will hype you by shouting your name "KUYKOOOY!", marching small steps, and watching your amused face. You will march too, oh how you loved dancing! You will always hop to us as we held your paws so we can dance and dance in small circles.

You will always be in my heart, Keeks, the best dog ever. The one I love. I will think of you every time I see fat crazy dogs or "forget me not" flowers that you loved to frolic on in our old garden, or whenever I wear my Beatles shirt (my "walk walk" uniform) or even when I see renal dog food, the last treats I got to buy for you in this lifetime. What an honor it is to be your BEST PAL. Your GHEA. Your partner in crime in 4128. Your team "GHEKO."

I love you Keeks, as I always whisper to you. You heard that, right? I love you and I will look forward to when we meet again at the rainbow bridge. Please do wait for me, and enjoy yourself in a world where you are fluffier again, healthier and pain-free again, and smiling again with your tongue out and crooked ears.

Good night Keeks, see you later!

One million memories with Keeks. These are just the pictures we easily accessed on my pandemic phone. I have external hard drives filled with our beautiful memories. <3